On Sexuality

They say every girl/woman experiences that phase, most of us come out on the other side...others however remain there, turning the period into a lifetime and the phase a lifestyle. It might happen to men, but since I am not privileged enough to be one, I cant speak for that side of the equation. They say every woman goes through that doubt phase, the never talked about 'bi-curious' phase. Keep watching this space and you'll come to realize that I appreciate all the phases in my life enough to be comfortable with the woman I have become. My bi-curious phase lasted all of a day! My second year in college I woke up feeling extremely lonely. Life then wasnt easy for a slightly overweight African student, who spent most of her day buried in a thick book, or in a stifling lab coat. Not yet understanding the ways of 'American men,' I was yet to talk to one outside the classroom, let alone date. So on this particular morning I woke up feeling lonely, and convinced I hated men. I was sure they hated me right back. I spent my first and only da as a lesbian in baggy pants and a huge huge white tee. It was strangely exhilarating and I felt invincible. No weird looks from the guys, and no snide remarks from the girls! BUT by the ed of the day, I somehow (maybe divinely) remembered that I was very straight, and some of the reasons why...

I love men. From my father, to my brother, my nephew, the love of my life, my future sons...I love them all. I love the way nomatter how old, or powerful a woman might be, a (real) man will try to make sure she is OK. I love the confidence (real) men exude, the promise that they can and will always be there, standing strong.. I love the vulnerability in them. I love that look that a woman might catch, if she's lucky, when a (real) men lets his guard down... Men are beautiful creatures. Precious, unmatched pieces of art, I told boyfie once that male curves are higly underestimated...I better end there.

So tonight, in my hours of insomnia, I thought to remember my day as a lesbian, and to ask myself why it lasted just a day... Men, I appreciate you tonight.