Something is not right. I dont know how many times I have to say that before my mind accepts that and moves past that to actually find out what the problem is. My heart and mind will only go as far as seeing that there is something wrong; but something stops me there. I hate it. I am scared to admit what the problem is because I am either terrified to deal with it, or I subconciously know what has to be done and quite frankyly "I don wanna"
Something is not right in this relationship. I am not happy, and saying that outloud is not easy, and just makes me even more unhappy. Its like when you walk into an empty room and you immediately feel like running right out, but u dont know why. I read somewhere, a long time ago that to sort out your thoughts, write them out starting with I feel.. Ok, here goes.
I feel alone.
I feel lost
I feel emotionally starved
I feel I am trying too hard
I feel distant.
I was talking to a friend of mine last night and he told me I sounded pathetic. It hurt like hell, because if there's one thing I thought I would never sound, it's pathetic.
The problem is I let this relationship swallow me, I changed myself to fit the woman he told me he wanted. I hate this new me, and I hate that he doesnt see what I have sacrificed, because he didnt ask for it. I accept I have a problem. Now to fix it. Damn.
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