Who could have thought that getting my thoughts in order would be such a process. But I'm not complaining. This dark cloud has been looming over me for so long, now that it's being dealt with, I dont care about the process or the work involved I am just glad its being addressed, and/or getting removed.
I need time away, out of this, out of 'us.' I need time to be me, I need time for me. I understand that. But who am I, what do I want to do?? Lately I have been filling my weekends with watching TV with the remote in his hand. What do I enjoy, doing for me?
I have spent so much of my adult life in a relationship with one man or the other, I havent had the time to discover the woman I grew into and what I want. This is interfering with my love life now. I cant be with someone, I cant be part of 'us' when I dont know me.
Who knew that the biggest journey and adventure I would embark on would be a journey to find myself... And as much as I love AOA, I cant take him with me. Reader pray for me that this 'I need time away' talk reaches his ears in the same format and spirit, with the same meaning as it is leaving my mouth.
I love the man, trust me. The past year has been amazing, but if I am to be a happy and irreplaceable member of this team I need to know exactly what I am bringing to the table.
And what I need to find on the table for me to stay.
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